RESOLUTIONS (Simple answers) Sometimes, simple answers, is the solution to resolving misunderstandings. Understanding is very simple: Yes I do, or no I don’t. When one ask A question of someone, and clearly defines it as A question only. Not A challenge, accusation, put down, or else. The question at hand should be accepted as just that, and nothing else. To accept it as anything else only clouds the issue, and causes confusion, and sometimes more. Whether intentional, or not, it is the same end result. Someone gets lost, confused, or unanswered. And quite often the matter is not resolved, just let go. One Example: To make A comment about some thing, and the other person involved shows an offended, or hostile attitude. They ask, what did you mean, or why did you say it? You then try to explain to that person what you meant by the comment. You have explained, as best you could. Why you said it, and that you meant no offense. You then ask them; do they understand you? Either, they give no reply, or they ask; what’s wrong with them asking what you meant? You reply. There is nothing wrong with them asking what you meant. You then ask again, but do you understand me now? They again reply, what is wrong with them asking what you meant? For the second time you reply, there is nothing wrong with them asking. You explain. You have no problem with them asking. Now that you have answered their question, why can’t they simply answer yours. Do they understand you? Your reason for asking if they understand, is simply to ensure yourself, and them, that they do understand. If not, what can you do, or say, to help make it clear to them. Because, you are clearly trying to be sure, that you both understand each other. You are trying hard to get clearer, and better communications between you. A better understanding, and bond. If they see clear enough to, simply answer you. I understand, or I don’t understand. Part of the matter is resolved. If they understand, that’s good. If they don’t (and there is nothing wrong with saying; I don’t understand), then you at least have been given the courtesy of an answer, or reply. You can then reflect on what you said, how you stated it, and try to put it in a way, or words, to try and help them to better understand. If they do not answer you, and return to their question (that you have already answered, more than once). And ask you again, what is wrong with them asking what you meant? Something is clearly wrong and they are not trying to understand you, or resolve the matter. Their only interest seems to be. That you understand, their rights, and reason for asking. This could go on, and on, and go in circles indefinitely, but. Eventually (sooner or later), one, or both become tired, and disgusted, and drop the subject. You still receive no answer, and the matter goes unresolved. You understood them, but don’t know if they understood you. Conclusion: When one answers your question, with A question. And, only seem intent on you answering their question, whether they answer yours, or not. They give the appearance of being selfish (in that regard only, for the moment), in that they only seem concerned with you answering them. They only seem concerned with you understanding them. They give no answers to you, and appear not to be concerned about it. They also seem not to be concerned about understanding you. They may say, that they are concerned, but their actions don’t show it. This could also be interpreted as a challenge or quest, to control things. Or simply, to let you know they’re in control, whenever they choose. Whatever the reason, nothing is resolved from this type of behavior. As the old saying goes: Nothing. From nothing. Leaves nothing. Different belief systems, is only natural between people of different backgrounds. It can help us grow, if used and nurtured with understanding. Using it as A cop out. Won’t resolve anything. Simply put: In order to get understanding, one must give understanding In order to get answers, one must be willing to give answers No matter h-- w--- (o- n--) s------ u--------- y--. Y-- d--’- k--- u----- t--- t--- y--. No matter h-- w--- (o- n--) y-- u--------- s------. T--- d--’- k--- u----- y-- t--- t---. · We can not change others. B-- w- c-- t-- t- u---------. E. V. SIMS |
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